


cor vitreum

by angelaxy



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26852845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelaxy/pseuds/angelaxy
Summary: The wretched fate she had to bear, the burden of wanting to be a savior for the world. But she was failing, not being able to stop the impending apocalypse, she had forgotten that there was someone who would be there and said 'Stop, please.' if her burden went too far.
Relationships: Victor/Michiru
Kudos: 4
Collections: Ange's Whumptober 2020, Whumptober 2020, ` Time. Wind. Storm. Dream. Copier `





	cor vitreum

**Author's Note:**

> M rating for the heavy theme, just in case~  
> I wrote this based on a canon scene, been dying to write the details since months ago so this is the perfect chance xD  
>  ~~a fic I wrote with so much tears~~  
>  xoxo

Dark thoughts became darker, and her quiet surrender was inevitable — her mind had gone beyond exhausted, just as her vulnerable glass heart.

The cup had fallen to pieces on the marble floor.

Kneeling down, her empty gaze stared at the shattered pieces, glinting with the moonlight that streamed through the glass windows.

_I must fix this cup, glue them and put it back together so it can return to how it used to be._

Each beating of her delicate heart against the vulnerable ribcage promised pain, failure and sorrow. Her bones felt like cracked one by one and her soul wailed. Michiru was nothing but a vessel of pain and suffering with a mask of a forced smile to wear throughout the day. A smile that she hoped would be enough to convince everyone.

A suffocating feeling of incessant helplessness washed over her and her hand absently picked up a sharp piece of the shattered cup. Her shoulders felt heavy with the invisible weight, and naive she might be for not wanting to face the harsh truth. Michiru had given up sleep, letting the fatigue and exhaustion eat her alive. For her thoughts were tangled — a simple thought would lead to the vicious thoughts that shattered every hope she cling to; the unsettling thought of how she would lose everything she had left.

The wretched fate she had to bear, the burden of wanting to be a savior for the world. But she was failing, not being able to stop the impending apocalypse. Why did she possess this power if she could not save them? 

Too much, it was too much.

_— I can’t breathe._

Tears flowed down her cheeks, fingers gripped the shard and blood seeping through her fingers as she held the shard tighter than it should be. Her chest was heaving, she wanted pain, _she deserved pain,_ so her hand gripped the glass shard tighter until it tore her skin, tighter and tighter and her fingers bleed.

If she couldn’t fix this cup, fix the world, what was she supposed to do? Hope won’t be enough to stop it from happening, she couldn’t even stop her tears from falling and she picked up another shard with her other hand.

Michiru’s lower lip trembled, a soft whimper escaped past her lips and with it, she gripped the shards tighter. This time, a gasp escaped her parted lips and she struggled to accept the pain she inflicted on herself.

To numb her failure, her fear, her anger.

To numb everything into one. _Pain._

It clawed on her skin, scraping. And the shadow within her mind screamed, _again, more, more pain_. With each aching, sharp pain, the agony raging and crawling under her skin.

Michiru whimpered brokenly.

Outside the bedroom, Victor was determined to check on her every now and then even only from behind the door, and this time he heard her whimpering. He deadpanned in front of her door — _No!_ His worst thought came true. Without hesitation, his hand wrapped around the door handle and quietly pushed it open.

There he saw her slumped on the floor, crimson blood flowing from the cuts on her fingers where she held the glass shard, her arms were crimson with blood. A silent panic rose within Victor as he hurried to her and held her from behind. “Let go.” He murmured in a broken voice, throat tightened as he held her close without any slightest concern how her blood stained his shirt. Jaw clenched, he spoke through gritted teeth, “Let it go.”

“I can’t — I.. I can’t.” Michiru broke into sobs, still desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. No, she did not want to cry but the rebellious tears fell without her consent and her grips only became tighter. To feel anything but this helplessness.

Even Victor urged her, she did not let go of the glass shards so he attempted to take it from her hands, not even flinching at the slightest when it tore through his own skin. He covered her eyes with his hand to make her focus her attention to him instead of the pain and the blood. “I’m here, listen to my voice — _Let go._ ”

“No..” Her voice reeked of the unbearable weight of her burdens, crystalline tears kept falling and falling, slipping through Victor’s fingers. But she heard him, the calming voice that always helped her through everything and the horrifying tension in her fingers loosened.

He managed to take it off from her grip and placed it down on the floor. Away from her reach. Victor shifted, knelt in front of her and stroked her hair with his other hand. He embraced her trembling shoulders, feeling her chest heaving against his in between her sobs. “It’s alright, you can cry.” Incredibly gentle voice, terrified to shatter the vulnerable glass heart of hers.

“I want to be strong, to change the future and make it better for everyone so no one will suffer.” Michiru’s bleeding fingers clutched his shirt tightly, and even tighter. How she could save the world if she couldn’t be strong? And now she was breaking apart, her voice strained with the unbearable weight. “But.. I can’t — and it hurts, it hurts so much.” A pained sob escaped her lips.

“You can’t hurt yourself, no matter what.” 

_Stop, please._

It left an ache in his heart, Victor understood the horror she had to face, but he was also aware there were things she did not say even to him. He wished she would, rather than seeing her breakdown like this;

_Tears falling, hands shaking, shoulders trembling._

_And her heart, breaking._

There was nothing else he could utter, Victor only held her tight in his embrace, shushing in a gentle voice.

Her slender fingers curled in his dark shirt, staining it crimson with her blood and her face was half-buried in his chest. Gripping the fabric as if it was her lifeline. Words tumbled out breathlessly from her broken sobs, even speaking the words was a struggle. “It hurts. I can’t.. Everything hurts.” Her chest felt heavy, threatening to take the oxygen out of her lungs.

His hand rested on her cheek, forcing her to look at him, where the flicker of hurt in her eyes met his fearful gaze, and then Victor shut his eyes, pleading silently for her to be alright. Strong or weak, she remained important to him.

They were human, after all, not immune to despair and sorrow.

But, as powerful as he was, possessing money and power; nothing could help this kind of suffering that she must bear. Victor would do anything to ease her burden. His hands gently held her shoulders, so carefully in fear of destroying her and he leaned away to see her clearly. “I’m aware you haven’t been sleeping, at least try to.”

His words made her heart constrict in pain, Victor was always aware, did he aware of her forced smiles too? Guilt began to settle in and she couldn’t respond, only sobbing lightly and stared at him through the blurry tears.

Victor took off his shirt, using it to gently wipe the blood off her wrists, hands and arms, avoiding the cuts all the while. “Whatever may happen, you’re never alone.” He caressed her hands carefully, soothing her shattered soul. His words should count to something, he wished her to listen and to believe his sincere words. “I’m here with you.” _Always._

Victor carried her to the bed, lowered her to lie down and he began to bandage her hands. Carefully, and gently, to avoid inflicting pain from her wounds. But pain was what she needed, her hands began to move rebelliously, curled into fists to inflict more pain — and yet, Victor’s grip was much stronger as he forcefully kept her palm open.

“Breathe deeply.” Victor urged with his commanding voice as his eyes peered into her, in hopes of providing some comfort. “Breathe with me. One.. Two.. Three..” In truth, he himself needed to _breathe_ and his own eyes were red with unshed tears.

Utterly taken aback over what she saw in his eyes, Michiru obliged at last, focusing her own breathing with his counting and eventually her sobs quieted down. Victor gently wiped her tears with the pad of his thumbs, to rid her face of any tears. _A smile suits you more, you know._

Her eyelids fluttered close eventually, exhaustion and Victor’s presence helped her sleep. 

Victor did not leave her door until hours passed, nothing could convince him this won’t happen again. He leaned against the wall right beside her door, silently listening if she would wake up or attempting to hurt herself in his absence. “I’ll be here to keep an eye on you until you feel better. I promise.” As the words were spoken softy, he breathed out, closing his eyes and the memory of a distant past replayed in his mind.

Their first meeting, the little girl he saved in that street when they were little.

_A fated meeting._

He could not stand the thought of her hurting herself, breaking down like this, but he would be the bandage to her wounds.

To pick up and rearrange the broken pieces.

To save her, as many times as he would be able to.


End file.
